Tainted
by Sarabeth Harris
Summary: Evanna Spendlove is a headstrong and bookish young woman of seventeen. All of her life she has been betrothed to the mysterious Draco Malfoy, an ex Death Eater and accomplice to Voldemort. 2 months after the war, the time has come for Draco and Evanna to wed. Her parents claim that Draco has changed after the downfall of Voldemort, but can she overlook the darkness in Draco's past?
1. Malfoy Manor

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Harry Potter and contents/places/characters.**

**TAINTED  
**

**Chapter One – Malfoy Manor**

I'd never wanted to marry a Death Eater.

I swallowed down the lump of anxiety lodged in my throat like an incessant pest, looking cautiously out of the window of the carriage but not really taking in the setting sun and quiet atmosphere. The carriage rattled down the cobblestone street, its sound matching the rhythm of my nerves. My sister Nora had told me over and over that there was nothing to be nervous about, that the Malfoys had changed much since the battle of Hogwarts and the marriage between Draco and I must happen.

There was not a doubt in my mind that Draco had changed and I knew that inside him there was indeed a shred of kindness, but what worried me was the actual marrying part. I had never spoken more than two words to Draco. I felt anxious around him and shied away from his dark stare and restless eyes. I was nothing like my confident and hardy self around him. I was positive that he had never even seen a shred of my true person. Why would I reveal myself to someone who seemed to have so much hatred locked away inside him?

Nora was regarding my reactions anxiously, peering into my face across from me. She was biting at her lip constantly, and I knew she must be thinking that the engagement was upsetting me more than it should. Perhaps I was acting foolish, but it was nevertheless worrying.

"Evanna," she whispered urgently, "listen to me."

I reluctantly swiveled my eyes to hers, registering her for the first time in the entire carriage ride. My knuckles were white against my wand—dragon heartstring, twelve inches, unyielding, crafted from wood of an oak tree.

"You mustn't worry," Nora said earnestly. "Draco Malfoy will learn to admire and be compassionate towards you. I know you think that his past has permanently tainted him, but you mustn't condemn your marriage already when you hardly know the boy to begin with." Her eyes were gazing earnestly into mine. They were clear, dotted amber identical to mine but framed with fair lashes instead of the raven I had. My sister was beautiful and I had always felt meager in comparison. "Mum and dad are waiting inside with his parents, and they'll say the same."

"I know," I replied impatiently, twisting my hands around my wand once more. Yellow sparks flew out of the end, causing me Nora to jump.

"Evanna," she snapped, "_listen_ to me. You say you don't, but you're downright afraid of the boy. The Malfoys have _changed._"

The carriage creaked to a halt. I took a deep breath and clambered out on to the walkway of Malfoy Manor; the magnificent dark building in which the Malfoys resided. Seeing it sent another pang of unease through me. Nora weaved her arm through mine purposefully and began to guide me through the gate of the Malfoys and up to the doorway. I swallowed another lump of agitation as she lifted the giant brass knocker, the _clang_ of the brass against wood sending a pang of apprehension through me.

A house elf opened the door with a great creak, bowing, and invited us inside. The manor was lush, all intricate and valuable furniture with great tapestries in every corner. A fire was crackling cheerfully in the fireplace in front of a luxurious leather couch where my parents happened to be sitting, with Narcissa and Lucius lounging in the matching armchairs.

"Welcome," Narcissa greeted us, gesturing to the sofa. "Please sit down, both of you. Draco will be joining us shortly."

As I took a place on the sofa next to my mother, I scrutinized Narcissa with curiosity. She was a completely different person than when I had last seen her at Hogwarts before she, Lucius, and Draco had fled. She had been frail with deep shadows lurking under her eyes, and a sudden weakness that I had never witnessed in her before. Now she was shining with radiance, a true smile lighting up her face that I had never seen her wear. It was almost uncanny, the fact that Narcissa Malfoy could smile without hiding secrets. It seemed that the death of Voldemort had greatly eased her as well as her husband, who held one of her hands in his and looked years younger.

My mother put an arm around me, seeming to know of my edginess. I immediately relaxed to her touch; she had been somewhat of a refuge and safe haven for me. Her understanding rivaled even that of her beauty. In Nora, I confided everything I dared not tell anyone else. My father was a different story.

It felt as if all my senses were heightened as we waited for Draco. The ticking of the grandfather clock which had no hands at all was unbearably loud to me, even under the noise of my parents and the Malfoys chattering about wedding arrangements. I did not know what Draco would do once he saw me. Would he say anything at all?

I jumped with a start when I realized that the chatter had ceased as Draco descended the great staircase from my left, his sleek blonde hair falling ever so slightly into his fair eyes. His expression was unreadable, but his grip on the balustrade gave away that he was every bit as self-conscious as I was at the moment.

Narcissa and Lucius stood with my parents and Nora followed suit, looking at me expectantly as if watching for my reaction. I knew by the look in her eyes that she was trying to assure me. I stood and smoothed my skirt nervously, turning my eyes on Draco, who was now standing beside Narcissa.

"It is no secret that we have had you betrothed to one another since you were very young," Lucius started briskly, his sleek hair shining in the glow of the fire. "But now the time has come that a wedding must take place." He regarded me with faint curiosity. "We have decided that the precise date will be a month from now, September the twenty-second."

I felt my stomach drop as I registered that I would be wed in merely a month. It was much sooner than I had expected, and I wondered at how I was supposed to get to know Draco well enough to even _want_to marry him in only a month. It seemed as if Draco was thinking the same thing because he suddenly seemed to look at everything but me. Even Nora's surprise was unhidden, obvious on her fair face.

"I know that you two are not well-acquainted," Lucius continued smoothly, now speaking directly to me. "Consider this your genuine engagement period. I know that the both of you have been avoiding each other for the past couple of years, but it must come to an end. If you are to have a happy marriage, you must come to know each other."

Both Draco and I sheepishly glanced at each other. I looked away hastily, feeling a flush crawl over my face. It seemed as if Draco had been trying as hard as I had to stay away from him and avoid any conversation whatsoever. I realized now that we had been so foolish; wasting all of this precious time that we could have used to get to know each other. But I knew that it had been caused by the war. I didn't want to mingle with a death eater and a young man as dark as Draco. I had been in denial, thinking that his Dark Mark had changed the minds of my parents. Apparently, it had not. I suspected that Draco had been avoiding me because I knew all along who he was, and that had made him uneasy.

The rest of the evening was spent over a dinner that the Malfoys' house elves had prepared and over more talk of wedding arrangements, which Draco and did not join. Narcissa had insisted that he sit next to me and I kept taking sips of firewhiskey to still my nerves. I hardly ate, mostly nibbling at my food as I occasionally glimpsed at Draco, who was eating just as little as I was of his treacle tart and taking long drafts of pumpkin juice.

I felt pressure on one of my feet and I threw a sharp look at Nora from across the table, who had placed her foot on top of mine. She jerked her head at Draco and I rolled my eyes at her in annoyance. She had been hinting at me all dinner to say something to Draco, but I had neither the courage nor desire to strike up a conversation with him.

Night had fallen entirely, cloaking Malfoy Manor in a starry darkness. Narcissa and Lucius bade us farewell, and Draco eventually plucked up the courage to utter a cautious goodbye. I felt slightly disappointed as we began the trip back home. I honestly did not know what I had expected, but I had felt that maybe he would have tried a little harder. Then again, I hadn't tried to say a single word to him. I bit my lip, feeling more worried than I had in a while over this engagement when I realized that this was probably going to be much more difficult than I had planned. Death Eaters really weren't my taste.


	2. A Message

**Chapter Two – A Message**

I awoke the next morning with a start. I knew that it was going to be another anxiety-filled day, as Narcissa and my mother had set up an evening out for me and Draco. I had had difficulty the night before seeing him but I knew that today was going to be much more awkward as it now was only going to be the two of us.

My mother kept reassuring me that Draco was now a charming young man and not anything like he used to be. She reminded me that soon my surname would be Malfoy, not Spendlove, and that I must begin to feel comfortable being called Mrs. Evanna Malfoy. The thought of it made me want to vomit.

When it neared seven o' clock, Mum brought in a simple black dress that came to my knees with a deep plunge in the back. It only made me feel more stressed, as it showed too much skin for my taste.

Ardi, my eagle owl, gave a soft hoot as he soared through the open window and onto my desk. He nimbly stuck out his leg, where a bit of parchment was rolled tightly around a single red rose. I handed him one of his large owl treats and he gave a loud hoot of appreciation as he nipped it in his beak and fluttered into his cage.

After finally unwinding the parchment from the thorny stem with shaky fingers, I settled onto my bed and began to read:

_ Ms. Spendlove,_

_ I know that yesterday might've seemed like we got off on the wrong foot or a bad start, but I hope that tonight will be a chance to redeem myself. I know that you've never really liked me, but I want to show you that I've changed. Please give me the chance._

_ Draco_

I blushed as I reread the letter over again with surprise. That Draco had even tried to apologize was a surprise to me. He had never really been one to express his feeling to anyone, much less apologize to someone for a slight misunderstanding.

I looked at the clock on my wall anxiously. Draco would be here in two minutes. I left my room and waited in the living room where Nora was reading _Enchantment in Baking_ beside the fireplace. She looked up, her amber eyes piercing me with a look I couldn't read.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I finally asked, irritated.

"I was just thinking that you're going to be married soon, and how much I wish that I could be in the position you're in," she replied softly, running a hand over the cover of her book.

My eyes widened slightly in surprise. Nora had once been betrothed to a man that I had never met, but that she had loved more than she had ever loved anything before. She had been betrothed to him since the age of eight, but they had grown up together and held a fast friendship. He had died at the battle of Hogwarts beside Remus Lupin and his wife Nymphadora just two months ago, and had been defeated by one of the Carrows. Nora had always avoided the topic of conversation, and when asked by my parents if she still intended to marry she had replied with a "probably not."

I felt a surge of pity for her and was about to say something when I was interrupted by a knock at the door. Nora gave me a reassuring smile.

"Everything will be fine, Evanna."

Draco was standing on the front steps, dressed smartly in an entirely black suit and gloves. He gave me the smallest smile he could muster. "Ready to go?"

Narcissa had decided that we would be traveling by carriage, as it certainly was "more romantic" than traveling by Floo Powder or Apparition. I suspected the carriage idea had been suggested by my mother. I thought the entire thing was absolutely ridiculous.

I nodded, trying to give him a small smile of my own. Draco opened and held the door for me to the carriage and motioned me inside. It was luxurious, all velvet seats and pillows. Draco was studying my reaction as he sat down across from me. When he said nothing, I cleared my throat.

"I wanted to thank you for the rose and the letter," I said in a small voice, looking down at my hands. "It was really sweet."

Draco didn't look me in the eyes but merely glanced out of the carriage.

"You're welcome," he answered finally. "I feel like it's a better start than before."

"I know you don't like me much," I continued in a shaky voice. "I really want us to get past that."

He looked over at me in surprise, finally looking me in the eyes.

"It's not that I've never liked you," he said thoughtfully, looking back out into the evening sky. "It's just that…well…I'm me…and you're you."

I arched an eyebrow, waiting for him to go on.

"I was a Death Eater," Draco blurted, running a hand through his hair. "You're intelligent and you're not the sort to get into trouble. I'm not the most pleasant of people, and I'm sure Potter's told you all about that."

I blushed and looked down at my hands again, completely taken aback. "You've avoided me because you were afraid of what I thought of you?"

"I know what you think of me," he scowled. "You're afraid of me. You're not even yourself around me. I've seen the way you act around Granger and your friends. You're not like yourself at all around me."

"I didn't think you'd notice that," I mumbled. "I'm not really afraid of you, Draco. It's just…I have to marry you. And I'm afraid that…well, maybe…"

"That I haven't changed?" he spat. His eyes were burning with a ferocity I hadn't known. "You don't understand. No one will ever be able to understand."

I fell silent and abandoned the thought in my mind of the possibility of being able to find out more. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Draco spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry. I just hate thinking about the past. I thought that everything I was doing was for honor. And Potter ended up saving my life. That made me see how foolish I was being about everything."

I nodded. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had told me about all that had happened in The Room of Requirement. It had taken me completely by surprise that Draco had been thick enough to do something so stupid, even if he _had_ been friends with Crabbe and Goyle.

The rest of the carriage ride was in silence while thoughts were racing through my head. I knew that Draco wasn't the kindest of people, but it was hard not to feel any pity for him. I felt the need to defend him despite of everything he had done, and been.

* * *

I'm restless. I'm in a dark, moist room on a cold, hard ground. I blink, my vision blurry as I try to focus. Where am I? How long have I been here? My wrists and ankles are bound, and I am starting to feel a dull panic. Where was I before this? I try to remember.

Nobody is in the room with me, it seems. I cry out for help, but only silence answers. After seconds, minutes, maybe even hours pass, a figure finally slinks from the shadows. I cannot process the face before me. I don't want to believe that this is real. I want to scream, but my voice is silence with the flick of a wand.

Draco's voice appears from the darkness, sallow and sick-looking with shady, sunken eyes. His hair shines as the light of his lit wand cascades over his features. He looks so frail, so sick, not at all Draco Malfoy.

He seems to have been crying. His fair eyes are rimmed with red and slightly puffy, and appear as though they lack sleep. He pulls up the left sleeve up his robes and again my scream isn't heard. His Dark Mark is black as night, disfigured in blood as if he has been scratching mercilessly until it was no longer decipherable. He comes closer and I try to writhe away from him, but I can hardly even squirm. He looks into my face with a pleading look, displaying his flawed forearm, black ink amongst a bloody sea.

"You know what this is," he says in a flat, empty voice, his eyes searching mine. Trying to make me understand. "This is who I am."

I can't speak. I can't move. What does he expect me to do?

"This is who I am!" he shouts, tears now filling his eyes. "I can't change who I am!"

I struggle against my bonds, the rope cutting into my flesh. It's cold, and I'm in my nightgown against the damp ground trying to find something—a rock, a piece of wood, anything to release me.

Draco grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me. "I can't change for you! Anyone! Do you understand? I'm bound by what I am! AND WHAT I AM ISN'T FOR YOU!"

I start trembling with sobs. Please let me go. Please just let me go. I try to plead against my silent lips, trying to back into the wall further away from him.

Draco pulls out a small, sharp knife. He holds it up to my face and my throat sears with pain as I try to scream, to beg, anything to convince him not to hurt me. He smiles slowly and drags the knife into the flesh across the Dark Mark as my eyes widen with horror.

"You can never change who I am," he whispers.

I woke with a start. I was drenched with sweat, trembling and trying to convince myself that it had only been a terrible nightmare. It had been so vivid; it had felt as if I had really been on the wet floor of some distant dungeon. My wrists almost felt raw as if they had really been straining against rope.

Nora ran in, her hair askew. She seemed relieved at finding me upright in my bed, still trying to decipher what I had just seen.

"Are you all right? I heard you scream."

"I'm fine," I panted. "Bad dream."

Nora slowly walked over to me and sat on the edge of my bed, putting a hand on mine. "That wasn't a normal bad dream. It sounded _really _bad. You screamed. _Loud._"

"I had a dream about Draco," I said slowly, looking down at my hands as I picked at a stray string in my bed sheets. "Only…it wasn't really Draco. He sort of looked…dead."

Nora stared at me. "Dead?"

"Well, not necessarily dead. But he wasn't himself. He looked ill, as if he was going to die. And he pulled up his sleeve and showed me the Dark Mark." My voice grew really small as I shuddered.

"It was just a dream, Evanna."

"It's not that," I muttered. "It's just that it was so real. I felt like I was there. He seemed to hate himself. He told me that no one could ever change him. And certainly not me." I felt tears pool in my eyes. I looked up at my sister, feeling the tears spill over a little. "What if he never changes? What if he stays tainted the way he is forever? What if I can't change that, Nora?"

"I don't believe that," Nora said quietly. "And I don't think you do either. He seems to feel really bad about what happened, as well as his parents. He'll be all right. I imagine it's probably just harder for him because he was just a kid. Definitely too young to fight for the wrong side. You-Know-Who was going to kill him, you know."

"You-Know-Who wanted to kill all of us that night," I said quietly. "He's never going to be completely well again." I thought over our outing that evening, how he had been ominously quiet throughout the whole dinner after our discussion as if deep in thought. He had had a pained expression on his face, as if he was trying hard to force himself to forget.

Lucius and Narcissa sat across from my mother and me, their lips in tight, fake smiles. After I had frightened Nora the previous night, Nora had spoken to my mother in private. My mother had immediately sent an owl a few hours in advance to warn the Malfoys that they had much to talk about.

After much prodding I recited my dream which I had written down so that I wouldn't forget. In a voice quite unlike my own, I told them what the nightmare had been about and how I felt that it had been extremely vivid.

Narcissa was having difficulty hiding the fury in her face. Her voice was slightly shaky, coated in resentment.

"Draco is a good young man," her eyes burning fiercely into mine. "We have all regretted our actions. We know that joining the Dark Lord was a mistake. If you think that our son is forever corrupted and not fit enough to marry your daughter—"

"That's not what I was saying at all," my mother said in a clear, hard voice. "I am merely voicing my concerns that this is having on Evanna. Perhaps they should have a little more time before the wedding. One month is not very long, after all."

"You wish to postpone?" Narcissa arched an eyebrow, her fingers tightening around the armrest of her chair.

"Yes," I blurted before Mum could answer. "All I ask is for more time so that I can prepare myself. I believe that Draco and I will need more than a month to feel comfortable with each other."

"What a coincidence," Lucius said softly with an amused smile. "Narcissa and I were just having a conversation about an opportunity for you two before you got here."

I tilted my head to the side unconsciously, greatly anticipating his answer.

"I sent an owl to the deputy headmistress of Hogwarts who is, as well as you know is Minerva McGonagall," Lucius continued, his eyes piercing mine. "I sent her deepest apologies immediately after the war, and she has requested me to try to recruit those who may be interested in returning to Hogwarts to take their N.E.W.T.s. Draco was not able to complete his exams—" here there was an uncomfortable pause—"and I understand that you weren't able to take the exams because of…?" he trailed off.

"I didn't take the N.E.W.T.s because my parents didn't want me studying at Hogwarts anymore," I said fervently, lifting my chin. "They were concerned for my safety and immediately withdrew me. I didn't have a choice at the time because I was seventeen. If I had been permitted, I probably would have stayed."

Lucius was silent for a moment and then turned to my mother.

"Narcissa and I were thinking that it would be a good idea to send Draco and Evanna together for a last year at Hogwarts to take their N.E.W.T.s. Of course, this might postpone the date of the wedding rather farther than we had planned—say, until the Christmas or Easter holidays. We would like your input on this, Mardella."

My mother's eyebrows were knit together in thought but I had a feeling of hope surge through me as he said this. I could have almost an entire year to acquaint myself with Draco before getting married and had a chance to complete my education.

"I suppose it's a great prospect for my daughter and Draco to better acquaint themselves after all of these years, but it really is up to her." She looked at me and I expect to see an encouraging look, but I was surprised with a glance full of worry.

Shaking the feeling of foreboding I received from her, I nodded eagerly.

"It's settled then," Narcissa said somewhat stiffly, sniffing. I could tell that she didn't like the idea of Draco leaving and that the wedding wouldn't be as soon as planned, but I felt strangely elated at the thought that I would be returning home.

"What does Draco think about all of this?" Mum asked curiously, waking me from my reverie.

"He's not very pleased with the thought of returning to Hogwarts," Lucius admitted, "but he agrees that it would be best."

As Lucius and Narcissa bid us goodbye, I noticed at the very last moment that Draco was sitting at the top of the staircase where he had heard every word, perhaps even of my nightmare, all along.

* * *

I was awoken the next morning by Nora, who insisted that I go to Diagon Alley for supplies for the school year. I wished I could skip the entire preparations and get on the Hogwarts Express as soon as I could for the excitement I could hardly hold in.

Much of Diagon Alley was the way it used to be; loud, crowded, and there was cheeriness in the air that was immensely infectious. After shopping for new dress robes, textbooks needed for my seventh year, and ingredients for potions, I decided to drop in at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

There was no doubt that Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes still made a lot of money. It was even more crammed with people than Gambol and Japes and Quality Quidditch Supplies, but I could see that the cheer that had once been there was fainter than it had been before Fred Weasley's passing.

I was surprised to find that Ron Weasley was at the entrance welcoming people in rather than his brother George, who was now the sole owner of the shop.

"Blimey, good to see you, Evanna," Ron said, clapping my shoulder. "Haven't seen you since…well…You look like you're doing well. Reckon we should catch up. Hermione's in town since she's going back to Hogwarts this year and we're going to have a butterbeer at the Leaky Cauldron later. Want to come along?"

He had said all of this without a pause for me to speak, and I finally was given the chance to accept his invitation and press him for an answer to quench my curiosity.

"Where's George?" I asked, carefully studying Ron's reaction.

Ron suddenly looked uncomfortable. "He's away for while. Never been right since…you know. Can't come back for so soon after what happened."

I nodded, swallowing a lump at my throat. Of course George wouldn't come back after the death of his twin. I knew that deep inside he would never be the same, and it pained me.

Ron's tone suddenly brightened a little, sounding a touch enthusiastic. "But I reckon sooner or later I'm going to come back and help him run the place. I think it'll be good for him."

I smiled sadly, feeling pity for him and the Weasleys. After buying a pack of Exploding Snap and some Self Inking Quills, I set off to the Leaky Cauldron to find Hermione, who Ron had claimed would be there studying while she waited for him.

I spotted Hermione immediately. She was pored over an enormous book, her bushy hair falling around her face and was writing frantically on parchment, engrossed in her work. She jumped as I took a seat next to her and smiled as she realized who I was.

"Evanna!" she exclaimed, putting an arm around my shoulders briefly. "How've you been?"

"I've been better," I admitted, "but everything's going to improve because I'm going back to Hogwarts. I saw Ron earlier and he told me you were going too."

"I'm delighted you're going," she beamed. "I feel a bit odd when I think about how no one from our year is going to be there with us. It's a strange feeling. But I had to go back for N.E.W.T.s. If I want to get into Magical Law Enforcement with the Ministry I have to do it."

After a few minutes of idle chat, Ron entered the pub and took a seat next to Hermione, reaching for her hand.

"You have to tell us what's been going on since the war," Hermione said briskly, setting her quill down. "We haven't spoken in ages and I remembered only a couple of days ago that you're marrying Draco Malfoy soon."

Ron nearly choked from the sip he had taken from Hermione's butterbeer.

"Bloody hell," he spluttered, "I'd almost forgotten about that. You still have to marry the creepy bloke after everything that's happened?"

I nodded silently, not daring to meet either of their eyes. "It's stressful, really."

"I don't know," Hermione started slowly, absentmindedly twirling a lock of her hair. "It did seem like his parents really regretted bringing him into it. Draco _did_ have the chance to kill Dumbledore, only he didn't."

"He's a coward, Hermione," Ron said with a snort. "He only ever did anything because he was a bloody coward. If he might've had a bit of more time, maybe he would have."

"I doubt it," Hermione replied with conviction in her voice. "Malfoy's always been a bit of a bad apple and a little cruel, but I don't think he would ever kill someone purposefully."

"He has a Dark Mark."

"That's beside the point, Ron," Hermione said in a very annoyed voice. "The war's over. The Dark Mark is simply a reminder of what happened."

"Do you not remember him calling you a Mudblood all those years?" Ron retorted angrily, causing me to wince. Hermione, however, stayed completely collected and dotted an _i _on her parchment rather forcefully.

"I think that he's had a bit of time to see that dirty blood didn't have anything to do with the outcome of the war," Hermione said, her chin slightly raised. "Besides, we don't need to frighten Evanna anymore than she already is, right?" She looked at me expectantly, pityingly, as if she understood that I was worried.

I ordered some firewhiskey after nodding my approval, to which Ron gave an inaudible grunt.

"How's Harry?" I asked Hermione, hurriedly trying to change the subject.

"He's fine," Ron jumped in, seeming to be glad of a change of topic. "He's a full-time Auror, now. Been hunting down some Death Eaters that've gone into hiding since Voldemort fell. Going to be joining myself in the Auror Department soon." At this last comment, Hermione appeared slightly nervous.

"And Ginny?"

At the mention of the subject of Ginny and Harry, Ron's ears grew slightly red. Hermione jumped in, sparing him the chance to answer.

"They're great. Ginny's thinking about trying out for the Holyhead Harpies, but of course she's coming to Hogwarts this year for her final year."

I took a long draft of my firewhiskey and paused before taking a deep breath.

"Draco's coming back to Hogwarts with me, too."

Ron's jaw dropped. Hermione looked a little anxious, but said nothing.

"I'm glad I'm not going," Ron said with indignation. "That slimy git going back to Hogwarts isn't the best news I've heard lately."

"I suppose it's better for you to get yourself better acquainted with him," Hermione said thoughtfully, putting the end of her quill in her mouth. "It's better than getting married and hardly knowing him at all."

"I think everyone knows he's a prat," Ron said incredulously to her.

"He may have changed, Ron," Hermione said exasperatedly, glaring at him. "You act as if it is impossible for people to regret their mistakes."

"It's not that, it's just that he and his parents are the foulest people I've met."

I tuned out of their conversation, not wanting to hear anymore. I didn't need to be more worried than I already was, and they certainly weren't helping.


	3. Home

**Chapter Three – Home**

I stood on the platform beside Draco as Nora hugged me tightly, overcome with emotion. I knew that deep down she was just as worried as my mother was, but she didn't admit it. I could tell she tried her very best to sound confident and cheerful.

"Have a great year, Evanna," she smiled, patting my hair. "Of course you have to come home for the holidays, and write me at least once a week to update me." Her eyes were laced with concern. "Everything will be fine," she added in my ear.

After saying our goodbyes to our parents, Draco helped me with my trunk and we boarded the gleaming Hogwarts Express, its smoke billowing through the jolly atmosphere. As we boarded the train, I awkwardly glanced at Draco, who was staring straight ahead as we walked down the corridor.

"Do you want to find a compartment together?" I finally braved to ask, trying not to witness his reaction.

He paused and then shrugged. "Might as well." His tone was somewhat cold.

I led the way, peering into the compartments to see if I'd find anyone I knew. My spirits lifted a little when I spotted Hermione who looked rather uncomfortable as Luna Lovegood was sitting next to her chatting without pause, probably ranting on about Blibbering Humdingers and Crumple Horned Snorkacks.

Hermione's face brightened when her eyes met mine but her face fell a bit when she noticed that Draco had walked in behind me, nonetheless regaining her composure very quickly.

"Hello Evanna," Hermione said amiably, closing her book on what appeared to be Ancient Runes. She seemed relieved that I had interrupted her and Luna's conversation.

"Hello Hermione, Luna," I said with a smile as I sat across from her. Draco sat reluctantly, a good two feet of space between us.

"Hi Draco," Luna said in a lofty voice, unsettling me. Even though she was strange, I admired Luna. She never really cared for what others thought, and this was obviously a gesture of courtesy.

Draco seemed surprised and merely grunted. At that precise moment, Ginny walked into the compartment, looking glad to see all of us until her gaze fell upon Malfoy, and her smile turned into a slight grimace.

"What's he doing here?" she asked rather rudely.

"I might ask you the same, Weasley," Draco spat back.

"Draco's parents wanted us to come back to Hogwarts together," I explained quickly, nervous at the tension between the two as they glared into each other's faces. "We're…we're getting married, remember?" I added weakly.

Draco turned slightly pink at the mention of our marriage and Ginny's gaze faltered faintly and she finally sat down across from him, a look of disgust still clearly etched on her face.

"There's a rather unpleasant aura in here," Luna said in a faint voice as she pulled out a copy of the Quibbler, fanning herself. Luna was famous for stating things that were painfully obvious, making things even more awkward for people in awkward situations.

Ginny changed the subject quite forcefully, completely ignoring Draco. "Fleur's around eight weeks pregnant," she announced in a hard voice.

Hermione clapped her hands over her mouth. "That's lovely! Ron hadn't told me."

"Suppose he's just been too busy to say," Ginny replied, tossing her long mane of fiery hair. "He's been seriously thinking about becoming an Auror, you know."

Hermione's face fell at the mention of this, gazing at the window and clearing her throat.

"I know you don't like the idea of him being an Auror, Hermione," Ginny commented, studying Hermione's reaction, "but I really think that this is a good opportunity for Ron to start something great."

"He's already famous," Hermione snapped. "He's great enough. It worries me that his ambition is to become an Auror, you know."

"He'll be fine," I jumped in, not wanting the conversation to become tense. "Harry's going to be his partner, right? They'll look after each other. It'll be fine, Hermione, you'll see."

Hermione visibly relaxed at these words and the rest of us fell into silence while Luna began to read the Quibbler upside down and Ginny played with her pygmy puff Arnold. Midway through the journey to Hogwarts, the witch pushing the trolley of sweets stopped by the compartment and Ginny bought Cauldron Cakes, Pumpkin Pasties, and Licorice Wands for everyone, not including Draco (who appeared indifferent nonetheless).

After the long journey and loading horseless carriages, Draco murmured in my ear, "They all hate me."

I shook my head in response, not saying anything but mouthing to him that we'd speak of it later.

Hogwarts had been left in disarray after the war. Bits of stone had littered almost everything and shards of glass had coated every floor. The Ravenclaw tower had been mostly destroyed. The professors had immediately gone to work on the castle, repairing all that they could in the time left for the term to start. Mostly everything was back to the way it had been before the battle of Hogwarts, but the Ravenclaw was still under construction as Dark magic had severely damaged it. As I was a Ravenclaw, I was to stay in the Gryffindor dormitories along with everyone else of my house. I was pleased to hear this as it would mean sharing a dormitory with Ginny, Hermione, and Luna.

Professor McGonagall quieted the Great Hall after everyone had taken their seats and Draco had joined the Slytherin house table. It was very odd to think that she was to be headmistress now, even though no one could disagree that there was no one better for the job.

"Our history has lately been smudged with memories of war," McGonagall said in a sturdy voice, her voice ringing in the silence. "We are still dealing with the aftermath of the battle that took place here. Many thought that Hogwarts would never be the same again and that it would have to be closed down. I can assure you that this is not the case. Hogwarts will continue to be just as magnificent as it has always been."

Her words were met with a roar of applause and the start of the term feast began. Luna was sitting beside me at the Ravenclaw table and chattering away as I only half-listened, mostly watching Draco at the Slytherin table where he sat with a dark Slytherin girl that I couldn't name. For some reason a felt a miniscule jolt of envy and after catching myself, I felt incredibly stupid.

As I climbed up to the Gryffindor tower with Luna, Ginny, and Hermione I was busy thinking about how Draco and I were to get to know each other. What if he didn't want to pursue the relationship? There was no way for me to really know him if he didn't want to go through with it.

That night I slept fitfully, tossing and turning for hours. Images of Draco and I on our wedding day and living together darted through my thoughts, but I couldn't really decipher how I truly felt about it anymore. If Draco truly had changed, what was there to lose?

The next morning I left the Great Hall after breakfast for Double Potions with the Slytherins. I normally would have been excited for the class because I was best at the subject, but the thought of having an awkward class with Draco didn't appeal very much to me.

Luna accompanied me to the dungeons and talked as I listened, disheartened, until I realized that she had finally fallen silent. I looked up at her to find her scrutinizing me, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Draco isn't all horrible you know," she said in a dreamy voice. "He used to be foul a lot of the time but I think he regrets it. He had no other choice in the matter, you know."

"No, Luna, I don't," I said exasperatedly as we descended a flight of stairs. "He did have a choice. We had a choice when we fought for Harry. Why didn't he?"

"He was raised in a prejudiced family," Luna replied patiently as we walked into class a few minutes early. "He was taught to hate those that weren't pureblood. How could he change so quickly after being raised that way all of your life?"

This remark left me silent, and I mulled over my thoughts until they were interrupted by Draco entering the room with a few other Slytherins. He didn't acknowledge he sat at the table in front of me, the back of his sleek blonde head directly in my view. I couldn't name the reason I felt a flash of resentment at the fact that he hadn't so much as glanced my way.

Professor Slughorn immediately sent us to work to create a simple Sleeping Draught, but I was hardly able to concentrate as I watched Draco; the way his brow furrowed when he concentrated, how he'd bite his quill when he was deep in thought, and the precision of his movements when he was measuring or cutting something. For an inexplicable reason, I was mesmerized.

As Draco returned my glance and caused me to blush furiously, Luna nudged me and asked what I was looking at, causing me to spill my bottle of porcupine quills. The flush in my face deepened as I hurriedly swept them back into the bottle.

By the end of class I had left Professor Slughorn sheepish, as I was his favorite out of his Ravenclaw students in Potions and I hadn't even finished the Draught. He brushed it off and I set off.

* * *

The first week back at Hogwarts passed in a blur; Draco and I hardly spoke to each other and only saw each other during the few classes the Slytherins and Ravenclaws had together. Occasionally I would see him in the library during my free period, in which when he saw me he would slip away or come up with an excuse to have a long conversation with the librarian Madam Pince.

I finally caught him on my way to the Gryffindor common room after dinner. He was speaking to the same dark Slytherin girl I had seen him with at the start of the term feast, and the sight of her only heightened my boldness.

"Can I speak to you for a moment?" I asked rather forcefully, looking him in the face.

Looking taken aback and somewhat embarrassed, Draco muttered a quiet "bye" to the dark Slytherin girl, who gave me a brief confused looking before stalking away haughtily.

"What happened to getting to know each other?" I asked somewhat shrewdly, causing his look of surprise to grow by a fraction.

"I wasn't under the impression that you cared about that," he said with a shade of embarrassment in his tone, looking around over my shoulder as if not wanting to be seen talking to me.

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but our parents are pretty serious about us getting married and all that," I continued in the same volume, ignoring his looks of anxiety.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it right now," he stammered, still not really looking at me as he shuffled his bag nervously on his shoulder.

I stepped closer to him until were almost nose to nose and he turned rather pink, not able to look me in the eyes.

"No, _you_ look, Draco. I know our parents sent us back here partially to get our N.E.W.T.s, but the truth is that they mostly wanted us to come here to get to know each other before we get _married_. I don't know about you, but I'd rather know who you are sooner rather than later, and quite frankly I'm getting sick of you avoiding me."

My tone of voice captured his attention finally, and his eyes snapped to mine. He looked slightly taken aback but quickly regained his composure.

"And there's no use acting as if our relationship is a secret," I said after braving myself, gauging his reaction.

He responded exactly the way I expected: his mouth hung open just a fraction and his eyes widened to the size of Silver Sickles. He began to say something, but his sentence fell apart as I leaned forward and kissed him very briefly, my lips slightly catching with his. His lips were surprisingly soft against mine, and incredibly still. I pulled back and waited for him to say something, and immediately felt a rush of humiliation.

"Sorry," I stammered, slinging my back over my shoulder quickly and no longer being able to look at him. "See you later."

I left Draco standing alone, staring after me. I looked over my shoulder as I reached the end of the corridor and saw his hand lift and touch his lips, as if wondering what had come over me.

* * *

I no longer pursued Draco; the discomfort between us had heightened dramatically. We could hardly stand being within a few feet of each other and I felt as if we had brought our immaturity with one another up a few notches. Hermione could hardly hide her shock as I recounted the moment, and Ginny simply appeared sickened, as if I hadn't kissed Draco but a repulsive Flobberworm.

"I don't think that you should be embarrassed at all," Luna said in a vague voice as she fiddled with her butterbeer cap necklace.

"Snogging Draco Malfoy?" Ginny almost snorted.

"It wasn't snogging," I snapped, feeling humiliated and already regretting telling them.

Three weeks went by without Draco and me speaking. I was starting to feel worried that we were never really going to get passed that awkward moment and imagined how furious Narcissa would be that I had yet again spoiled our arrangement.

To make matters worse, N.E.W.T. classes grew more difficult than ever. Homework piled on without pause, leaving students no time for other activities like Quidditch and visits to Hogsmeade. I spent hours after classes ended every night in the Gryffindor common room with Hermione, Ginny, and Luna as we all worked without chatter.

At breakfast before Defense Against the Dark Arts the owls soared in droves, dropping parcels and fresh copies of the Daily Prophet. I wasn't surprised when Ardi ascended and landed in front of me, carrying a tiny roll of parchment. I handed him a bit of my toast and reached for the letter, assuming it was another weekly letter from Nora.

_Miss Evanna,_

_ I've received word that you and Draco are no longer speaking. This is infuriating to me, as we sent the both of you to Hogwarts with the intention of you bonding and better acquainting yourselves. I'm rather disappointed to hear that you've both stooped to the level of not speaking. I do not know the reason for this, but I must ask you to immediately rectify the problem. I have sent an owl to Draco to inform him of the same. Whether you become acquainted or not, you __**will**_ _marry and do not have a say in the matter._

_ Hoping you are well,_

_ Narcissa Malfoy_

My heart sank. Who had told her about me and Draco not speaking?

I looked up only to find Draco's eyes locking with mine at the Slytherin table, the same look of distress etched on his face.


	4. A Somewhat Unpleasant Surprise

**Chapter Four – A (Somewhat) Unpleasant Surprise**

Teachers were working students harder than ever. Homework was guaranteed around four hours per night, and I was so flustered over how busy I was that I really had no time to think about Draco and the letters Narcissa had sent us. Draco seemed very distressed, as I noticed that he mostly kept to the library surprisingly surrounded by teetering stacks of thick books, his head bent close to his paper and his face screwed in concentration.

After the fifth day I made my way to the library and began slinking along the shelves, snatching random books from their places as I kept Draco in the corner of my eye, hoping that he wouldn't catch me watching him. His sleek blond hair fell into his face as he pored over a scroll of parchment and the _Standard Book of Spells Grade 7_. I took a few breaths and tried to calm myself. What was the worst that could happen?

I sat down in a chair beside Draco before I could give myself more time to think about it. He jumped violently, but I didn't explain or respond to this action. I simply opened _Unfogging the Future_ and waited for him to say something. I could feel him watching me in silence for what seemed a very long time, even though I knew it had only been a few minutes. He finally spoke.

"I don't want us to hide this anymore."

I looked up at him, shocked. I tried to read his eyes, and they displayed a sort of regret and a sadness I could not place. My heart thumped loudly as Draco placed his hand over mine where it clutched my book.

"I've been thinking about—well, about what happened," he continued on anxiously, not really meeting my eyes. "I really don't think it was so bad. I mean, I was shocked and didn't really know what to say. I didn't say anything because I know it'd be rubbish. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

My mouth hung open as I looked at him, dumfounded and completely at a loss of what to say.

"I want to stop pretending that we don't want anything to do with each other," he said hurriedly, growing slightly pink in the face. "I know that deep down both of us want this to work, and we need to make this work. You know it as well as I do."

I nodded weakly, completely taken aback. Draco had finally let go of my hand.

The next day was a rather exciting one. The Great Hall was decorated in floating candles and jack o' lanterns, as well as cobwebs and spider webs that had been conjured by Professor Flitwick. Above all else, students at Hogwarts enjoyed the special Halloween feast.

Draco had taken to speaking to me more often. Classes had been less awkward, as he would sit at the same table as Ginny, Hermione and I (displeasing Ginny and making Hermione rather skittish). He didn't say much as always, but the gesture satisfied me enough as we were making some progress.

As I made my way into the Great Hall and across Luna at the Ravenclaw table for the Halloween feast, Draco surprised me by sitting next to me, which resulted in him receiving furtive glares and glances of curiosity. He completely ignored them and I could almost sense him sulking at the fact that a muggle-born by the name of Maggie Tennant was sitting across from him. This earned him a sharp nudge in the ribs from me and I gave him a seething look as rage swept through me. If there was one thing I detested about Draco, it was his hatred for anyone who wasn't pure-blood. He gave me a look that displayed both guilt and annoyance, and I turned my nose up at him, looking in the opposite direction at McGonagall, who was listening to an animated Professor Sprout.

I felt someone plop on the bench beside me, causing both Draco and I to jump violently, almost spilling over pumpkin juice. Hermione's face appeared heavy with anxiety, as she clutched an edition of the _Daily Prophet_ in her hands.

"I've been looking for you all day, Evanna—you need to see something—"

She was about to place the paper on the table and then caught sight of Draco, and her face fell. I gave her a quizzical look and we stayed silent for a few moments until Draco cut across the awkward hush.

"What do you want, Granger?" Draco spat, his face clearly showing hints of irritation. "I wasn't aware that whatever you need to say about the _Prophet_ can't be said in front of me."

Hermione glared at him, but she proceeded to turn to the front page of the _Prophet._ The words printed on the page made my jaw drop, and I felt Draco stiffen beside me as we all gave an audible gasp. The headline shook my very core:

**WANTED: LUCIUS MALFOY AT LARGE**

There was an attack on two Muggles in London yesterday before dawn,

as well as killings of ten Muggles last night near Kings Cross Station.

Lead Auror, Harry Potter, addressed a large crowd of reporters yesterday.

"Lucius Malfoy is said to have been spotted near Kings Cross after

attacking a group of tourists late in the evening. We must ask anyone with information

to please step forward, as the situation is serious and we do not know much

about Malfoy's whereabouts. If he is sighted, please contact the Auror's Office immediately."

Potter seemed very grave and very worried, and had told sources that he had already

interviewed a distressed and scared Narcissa Malfoy,

who claimed to have no knowledge of her husband's whereabouts.

Any and all who have any information on the attacks as well as eye witnesses should contact

the Auror's Office or Department of Magical Law Enforcement immediately.

Hermione anxiously looked into my face as I processed this information. My stomach sank and I looked at Draco from the corner of my eye. Draco's face was even paler than normal and he was completely still, almost as if he were made of stone. I felt nothing but a rush of pity for him.

"I thought you should know," Hermione said in a nervous, small voice.

Draco's face flushed with anger. "I would think it would be more important for me to know, considering he's my _father_."

Hermione's gaze burned as she looked at Malfoy. "I didn't think you'd want to hear it from aMudblood," she snapped, her face flushing too.

"Stop fighting," I said wearily, putting my face in my hands. "It's not helping."

"Anyway, I just thought you should know," Hermione said abruptly, snatching the _Prophet_ and stalking off.

"Are you okay?" I asked Draco timidly after a few silent moments.

"What do you think?" he scowled. "My father's wanted and no one's seen him. A few years in Azkaban aren't all he's going to get." He stood and left the Great Hall, anger in his every step.

* * *

I'm in a dark room sitting in a stiff wooden chair, manacled to the arms. I try to shift but the chains won't let me move so much as an inch. There's a strong, metallic and somewhat rusty smell hanging in the air. I have no memory of how I got here, and panic locks into me as I glance at the floor and realize that the rusty smell is blood. I feel a wand at my throat and immediately freeze, stifling my gasp.

I hear a gruff voice in my ear.

"Did you really think that you could change the Malfoys?" I am trying to discern the voice. I hold my breath, afraid to speak. "Foolish girl. They are tainted. All of them."

Lucius Malfoy steps in from a doorway shrouded in darkness. My heart thuds as he regards me warily and I realize that Draco is standing behind him, who can't seem to bear to look at me.

"I appreciate in your letting me know of her whereabouts, Lucius," the man behind me says with something that sounds like a smile in his voice.

Lucius smiles weakly, avoiding my gaze. He seems to be very nervous; his knuckles are white against his wand as he tightly grips it.

"And my payment?" he says, his voice cracking slightly. Draco finally looks up at me, and I only see a tremendous pity in his eyes as well as something else I can't place.

"Patience, Lucius," the man says, finally removing his wand from my throat. He walks around the chair until he is standing in front of me, and I want to scream but I don't have the strength. I finally match the face with a name: Igor Karkaroff. His eyes are sunken in his face and his skin is papery white, barely clinging to his bones. He watches me in silence for a few moments, and my heart is beating so loudly that I fear the entire room can hear it. Draco's eyes are still full of pity and fear and the emotion I still can't determine.

"Her parents will pay for what they did."

Draco's face falls, and suddenly he looks more frightened than I have ever seen him. He runs forward as if to release me, but Karkaroff flicks his wand and there is a bright flash of green light. Draco's face slackens, and every emotion of fear and pity and (I finally recognize the odd look in his eyes) love leave him, leaving only a ghost, as he falls forward and moves no more.

I was being shaken awake. My eyes adjusted to the dark of the Gryffindor dormitory. Hermione was above me, looking scared. Ginny was there too, looking equally shaken but trying hard not to show it.

"You were having a nightmare," Hermione said in a shaky voice. Luna appeared behind her shoulder, appearing calm but curious.

"We thought you were going mad," Ginny jumped in, ignoring a reproaching look from Hermione. "Screaming something about Death Eaters. It was scary."

I panted, realizing that I was saturated in sweat. I pushed back the sticky sheets and sat up, my hands trembling across their paper white fabric.

"I had a dream about Lucius and Draco," I muttered, not wanting to look into their faces. "Karkaroff was there."

"Karkaroff?" Hermione echoed, a look of confusion passing her face. "But no one's seen him since—"

"I know it sounds odd," I said quickly, not wishing for a lecture from her. "I was just so—vivid. It's not the first time I've dreamt about Draco and Death Eaters."

I retold my nightmare that I had had in the summer, and they listened without interruption. Hermione was looking grave, as if she was thinking very hard about something.

"I may have a theory," she said slowly, not sounding all quite there, "but I'll have to look into it. You should go back to sleep; we have a test in Transfiguration tomorrow."

No matter how hard I tried to sleep that night, it wouldn't find me. I tossed and turned for a long while and eventually stilled, deep in thought. Why would I dream about Karkaroff? I had presumed he had repented of his ways; he had fled when the Dark Mark had burned all those years ago. He had not wanted to return to Voldemort. So why was he aiding Lucius? What had they needed me for in the dream?

I didn't have peace of mind for the rest of the day, and again didn't see Draco in at breakfast or lunch or in Double Potions. I knew that he was upset about his father but it still left me sulking that we weren't speaking again.

* * *

Christmas was drawing near. Hogwarts was coated in an endless white, and fires were roaring in every fireplace in site. Professor Flitwick had strung endless holly and mistletoe all over the castle, and Hagrid had taken the liberty of bringing in the annual large pine trees into Hogwarts' Great Hall and its corridors.

The day before the Christmas holidays, a letter was delivered to me and my stomach dropped as I knew immediately that it was from Narcissa.

_Evanna,_

_ I know that you have been worried about receiving another letter from me, but I must speak to you of a very pressing matter. I had informed you that if Lucius and I wanted you and Draco to marry, I wanted it to be during the Christmas or Easter holidays. Now I can assure you that this will no longer happen. You have probably heard that Lucius is being searched for and may spend a life sentence in Azkaban, and I do not want the wedding to have a set date as I am too busy searching for information on my husband. When Lucius is found I will personally ask the Minister if Lucius will be able to attend the wedding if supervised by security. Of course, I am not sure when and if he will be found, so now I am inclined to admit that there is a possible chance of you and Draco not being wed at all. I am sure that you will not object to this, as I know that you and Draco do not even speak. It is with great regret that I announce that as for now, there is no sure way of knowing whether the wedding can happen. I am too burdened with the thought of Lucius committing these crimes, and I will be spending most of my time trying to find him._

_ Regards,_

_ Narcissa Malfoy_

The feeling that surged through me wasn't one that I could name. It was a mixture of relief, as well as a sort of pity for Draco, and a longing I couldn't explain. The fact that Draco and I were probably never going to be married but that there was still a slight chance worried me. I glanced around the Great Hall fervently, and found Draco sitting quite well away from the others at the Slytherin table, reading a letter feverishly. The look on his face seemed that he felt much more relief than worry like I had. The expression on his face broke me though I did not know why. I snatched up my bag, crumpling the letter in my hand, and stalked out of the Great Hall, thinking to myself that for some reason the thought that we wouldn't be getting to know each other at all almost pained me.


	5. Unfogging the Future

**Chapter Five – Unfogging the Future**

The Christmas break was most needed. I felt relieved to be with my family again, especially Nora, who I had stopped writing weeks ago. She wanted to know everything that had happened between me and Draco, and her face fell when I told her the news of the wedding involving Lucius Malfoy.

"I just don't understand why the wedding can't be done," Nora said with exasperation.

I stared at her, taken aback. "Well naturally Narcissa's just really worried about finding Lucius over her son getting married to someone he barely knows." My voice faltered. "Actually, Draco seemed pretty relieved about it. Almost…happy."

Nora bit her lip. "You seem kind of upset about it," she said finally. "I was pretty sure you would be okay with it."

I paused, unsure of what to say. I was for the most part confused with my own feelings. Why was I upset about Draco being so relieved? Did I want to marry Draco? Had I ever wanted anything at all to do with him?

"I guess I felt hopeful," I started slowly, staring down at my hands in my lap. "When he said that he didn't want to hide anything anymore, I genuinely thought that he wanted something between us. And for the first time I felt kind of…hopeful. I've never seen that side of Draco before, and it made me hope."

Ardi swooped in through the open window, dropping yet another letter on my lap. I was glad for this interruption, as I didn't really want to discuss Draco anymore. It had made me restless enough just pondering on it. I was surprised to see that the letter was actually from Hermione.

_Evanna,_

_ I thought you'd want to know as soon as possible what I've learned about the dream you had. I've been doing some research on Karkaroff and I've gotten a better sense of who he is. I'm at Shell Cottage with Ginny, and we wanted to know if you wanted to stay here for a little while during the holidays. I feel that what I've learned should be explained in person. Please reply soon and let me know._

_ Love from_

_ Hermione_

My body was rigid in defense. What had Hermione learned about Karkaroff that was so important? Nora was watching me carefully. I handed her the letter and her face grew grim. When she finished, she passed me the letter hurriedly.

"I have to go help mum out in the garden," she said abruptly.

"Wait," I said with my head tilted to one side, intrigued by her attitude. Nora turned to face me reluctantly, not quite looking me in the eyes. "Do you know something?"

Nora shook her head. "I just remembered that I promised mum that I'd help her prune the garden." But something in her voice gave her away. Before I could think much on it, she left the room, leaving me speechless.

* * *

I was awoken in the middle of the night, and I sat up quickly when I saw a figure sitting on the edge of my bed. Mum wasn't looking at me. Her head was bowed and she was wringing her hands almost as if in distress. Her hair was a mess.

"Mum?" I could hear the anxiety in my own voice. My mother never behaved this way; she was such a strong and confident woman. I never really saw her upset.

She finally looked up at me, and with the little light from the moonlight poring through my window, I could see that her eyes were rimmed with red as if she was sleepless and had been crying. The sight troubled me; this was unusual. Something had to be wrong.

Her voice was hoarse and quavering. "Nora told me you had a dream about Igor Karkaroff," she said slowly, not looking me in the face. "She said it really frightened you. Hermione's trying to find out more about it. Is that true?"

I looked at her, puzzled, trying to read her tone. She sounded almost nervous.

"Yes," I answered reluctantly.

My mother stifled a sigh, shaking her head ever so slightly. "I don't think you'll like what you'll find." She finally looked me in the eyes, and I saw regret, fear, and something like guilt there.

"I don't see why anything I learn about Karkaroff will upset me," I said slowly, studying her reaction. Her eyebrows were knotted together as she frowned and heaved a great sigh.

"I don't want you to see Hermione," my mother said finally, leaving me baffled.

"Why not?" I exclaimed, starting to feel indignant. "I'm of age. Anything I learn is my choice, it's not as if I'll be in danger."

She shook her head again. "You're wrong about that."

"Why?" I pressed again. "I don't understand."

She stood up, not looking at me. "Don't ask questions, Evanna. Don't go looking for information on Karkaroff. I don't think you know how dangerous it is, actually. And I don't want you putting yourself in that position when you don't know the truth."

"The truth?" I echoed. "If there's something I need to know, I think you should tell me, mum."

She refused to look at me. "Don't go see Hermione. It's for your own good, Evanna." And she left the room, the closing door leaving a feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach.

* * *

I woke up bright and early the next morning before I knew my mother would wake. My father had left shortly after my mother had talked to me as he had an urgent call from the Ministry, as he was an Auror. I gathered my things and had written separate notes address to my mother and Nora, explaining that I would be gone for a while and didn't know when I would return. There was no way they were going to stop me from learning about Karkaroff, especially after what my mother had said the previous night.

I had written a quick reply after the conversation that night and sent Ardi straight away; originally I had planned to leave in a few days but I knew now that my mother and maybe even Nora would try to prevent me from leaving. I took great care to be as quiet as I could on the way outside. I Disapparated on the top step, not wishing to disturb Nora and have her tell my mother I had left.

I Apparated in front of Shell Cottage, the cold wind biting at my face. Despite that it was much colder than I liked, Shell Cottage was a beautiful image against a cold, gray sea. I dragged my trunk along and rapped on the door. I stood for what seemed like eternity in front of the door, impatiently tapping my foot. When the door finally opened, Fleur was behind it, her silvery hair unkept in a long ponytail. What was irritation clearly imprinted on her face turned quickly into surprise.

"I didn't expect you 'ere," she said in her sharp accent, flashing her perfect row of white teeth at me. "'Ermione 'ad told Bill zat you might show up, but we didn't expect you so soon."

"Sorry," I apologized quickly. "I didn't know I was coming until last night. Something came up. I had to leave early."

Fleur stood back and let me pass into the cozy little cottage. A large Christmas tree stood in the corner of the living room, laden with candles and what appeared to be will o' the wisps. A large portrait of Fleur and Bill's wedding day was placed above the large white sofa.

"Pleez, make yourself at 'ome," Fleur said kindly, giving me a radiant smile. Fleur had always been very kind to me as she was very fond of Nora. "'Ermione eez in one of ze guest bedrooms down ze 'all on ze left."

I thanked her and quietly opened the door where Hermione and Ginny was sleeping, closing the door slowly so I wouldn't wake them. Hermione nevertheless stirred and sat up abruptly when she saw me.

"Evanna!" she exclaimed loudly, despite the shadows under her eyes indicating that she had hardly slept. "I wasn't expecting you!"

"I didn't think I was coming this soon," I admitted, sitting on the bed across from hers. "I decided to come because my mother and I had a very awkward conversation about how I shouldn't go snooping about information on Karkaroff."

She lifted an eyebrow, looking puzzled. "Did she know that you were coming here?"

"She knew that I was coming to see you to talk about him, but I don't think she knows that we're at Shell Cottage. She said that looking into Karkaroff is dangerous and that I'm not going to like what I've found."

Hermione bit her lip, and my fears were confirmed. There was certainly something grave about Karkaroff that she had found, and I knew that somehow it involved me.

"You can't back out, Hermione," I said briskly, knowing what she was thinking. "There's no way this is going to be hidden from me know."

Resigned, Hermione reached under her bed and pulled out an edition of the _Daily Prophet_ that looked worn and old.

"The Ministry's archives," she explained.

"How did you get these?" I already knew the answer.

"Harry sent it to me. Apparently it's classified information. They were going to publish it but I guess Dumbledore talked to the Ministry about it and they decided not to."

"Why? Why would Dumbledore get involved in Ministry business? He never wanted anything to do with them." The idea didn't make sense to me.

"Apparently it was because someone had requested Dumbledore to talk to them about it," Hermione said gravely. "I know you're probably wondering from who, but nobody really knows. Harry's still trying to find out for me. It's probably important." She handed me the first _Prophet_, which was flipped to a page on recent deaths.

**GRINGOTTS BREAK-IN, 15 DEATHS**

A break-in occurred late last night in Gringotts Wizarding Bank, which

resulted in 15 deaths, the Minister reported this morning.

Ivan Karkaroff, 17, son of infamous ex-Death Eater Igor Karkaroff, was

caught breaking into a high security vault late last night. Aurors were

sent in after Karkaroff murdered numerous staff members who were

closing up for the night. Auror Walter Spendlove, famous Dark wizard

catcher, was able to rebound Karkaroff's Killing Curse, resulting in

Ivan's death. "There were numerous bodies when I entered," Spendlove

told Ministry officials this morning. "We really had no other choice."

The Ministry of Magic has repeatedly tried to inform Igor Karkaroff of

his son's death. If his whereabouts are known, please contact the Head

of the Auror Office.

I set down the article in my lap with trembling hands. I had never been told of this happening, never knew that my father had murdered someone. _We really had no other choice._ I could hear my father's voice faintly in my mind, and it sickened me.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said in a small voice. I shook my head.

"I'm glad you showed me this. I needed to know. How long ago was this?"

"The date's in the corner. Seventeen years ago." Hermione still sounded cautious.

"My dream makes sense now. But I still don't understand how I had it."

"Didn't you say that your grandmother was a Seer?"

"My great-grandmother," I corrected her. "Apparently she was really good, but I don't know…I don't think that's it.

Hermione shrugged. "It was only a suggestion."

* * *

Ron and Harry visited Shell Cottage on the third day and Ron's happiness when he saw Hermione was very touching as well as awkward. It sent something like envy through me, and I tried to ignore it.

Harry didn't ask me about the article, which relieved me. I didn't know whether Hermione had told me what she had wanted the article for, and I wasn't ready to talk about what my father had done.

During breakfast, Ron discussed his interest in becoming an Auror. At the mention of this topic, Hermione tuned out suspiciously as she nibbled at her toast, acting completely oblivious.

"I've done everything I need," Ron went on eagerly, eating simultaneously. "Since George's back to the shop, I can start straightaway."

"I'm happy for you," Bill stated, clapping Ron on the shoulder. Hermione gave him a reproaching look, which luckily Bill did not notice.

"How's the baby?" Harry asked quickly, seeming to notice Hermione's silent behavior. Fleur beamed and became much more enthusiastic than she had been during Ron's long conversation.

"'E eez very 'ealthy," she said happily, moving a hand to the tiny bump on her slim frame.

"So it's a boy then?"

"She just has a feeling," Bill interjected.

Ginny snorted. Harry, Ron, Hermione and I knew that she still wasn't very fond of Fleur, but I thought this might be going a little too far. Luna looked over at Fleur dreamily.

"You know," she started in her faraway voice, prompting everyone to expect an unusual comment, "they say that veela babies are unnaturally unlucky during the first four months, especially when they're born on a full moon. They tend to get into many life and death situations, even more likely when they're born during the spring—"

"Lovely pancakes," Ron interrupted loudly. Ginny sniggered and Harry reached under the table to grab her hand. Fleur didn't seem to be nearly as amused.

* * *

The article on Karkaroff still hadn't slipped my mind. I wanted to push it away and to never speak of it again, but I knew that it this point it was impossible. It was incredibly strange that I had had a dream that seemed fairly logical, but I didn't believe that I could be a Seer. My great-grandmother had been a gifted Seer according to my mother, but I had never had a hint of being able to see the future ever in my life.

Not a word had been heard from Draco and a week into the Christmas break I completely pushed any possibility of hearing from him out of my mind. I did though, receive a letter from my mother, in which she raged about how I had no respect for her and my father and that she had just wanted to protect me. The letter made me feel a small amount of guilt, but the remembrance of my father killing Karkaroff's son made me forget quickly enough.

I spent the last few days of the Christmas holidays at the Burrow with Hermione and Ginny. Much of the house had been restored since the Weasley's abandoned it shortly before the war, and it was almost back to normal, from its gnomes running around in the garden to the unique clock in the kitchen bearing all of the Weasley's names. The Burrow now had a much different atmosphere than it once had without the presence of Ron and George, especially with the knowledge of Fred's death. Mrs. Weasley was beside herself with grief, and would rarely leave her room. I pitied her tremendously when I remembered how different she had been before his passing, what with her cooking delicious meals and cleaning everything that needed cleaning and her happiness at seeing Harry, Hermione and I. Now she was but a ghost of her old self, her smiles never genuine. Mr. Weasley found himself taking care of things much more often than he used to, as now he was watching after Ginny himself though she claimed she didn't need to be babysat. He was also much grimmer than usual, but did not confine to his room when he was home. On the contrary, he seemed to be out in the shed much more often than he had ever before with his odds and ends of Muggle trinkets.

The morning we were to return to Hogwarts, my parents were waiting for me on the platform at Kings Cross. They both looked very grim, and Nora stood behind them looking ashamed of herself. I had thought that I could trust Nora, but she had told my parents and now my mother was disappointed in me, as if I had committed some heinous crime. My mother said nothing, tight-lipped and stiff the entire time. Nora apologized in my ear as she hugged me goodbye, her eyes wet. I wouldn't see her for a while, as she was in training to become a Healer for St. Mungo's. My father gave me a weak smile, perhaps wondering if now I knew the truth. His dark eyes, identical to mine, showed a sense of sorrow and a mute apology almost for whatever I knew.

Draco was at the platform as well, but surprisingly not accompanied by Narcissa. He was alone, reading something off a bit of parchment, his brow furrowed. Before he could realize that I was so close and before he could sense me watching him, I boarded the train with Hermione, Luna, and Ginny, and did not look back on my family. The fact that something so serious had been hidden from me so long angered me. I wanted to know why Nora knew what I hadn't. Surely they couldn't have expected to keep it from me forever? I could feel Hermione staring at me in the compartment, who had noticed my uptight and rigid behavior. I was glad that she didn't say anything, as I didn't want the others knowing the source of my distress.

The thought that my nightmare could be a representation of the future frightened me beyond belief. Was Igor Karkaroff hunting me down for vengeance on his son? If so, was Lucius Malfoy involved and what did he get in return? Would Draco's fate be death trying to save me from an act that my father had committed?

I looked out the rain-pattered window and tuned out of Hermione and Ginny's conversation, my thoughts carrying me away from them, the thought that sometime near in the future, Draco and I would be dead for an act we had never committed.


	6. Arctic Eyes

**Chapter Six – Arctic Eyes**

The return from Christmas holidays posed as an ideal time to dump homework onto students. Exams were near, and I was studying more than ever. Hermione was absolutely engrossed in her studying at all times in the day, most of the time not even noticing me when I sat next to her while I mulled over the fact that Draco and I probably would never speak again. I had pondered on whether I should tell Draco of my nightmare and what happened with Igor Karkaroff's son, but the odds were that he would take none of it into consideration and consider me officially insane.

I walked into Transfiguration, dreading it already. It by far had been my most dreaded class with all of the homework that the new Transfiguration teacher, Professor Hestia Jones, assigned. She was no wear near as strict as McGonagall but did assign quite a lot of work and expected much dedication. As I wanted to be an Obliviator, Transfiguration was required in my courses, and I was obligated to pass with high marks.

As I entered the classroom, I noticed that for the first time that the student from Durmstrang I'd heard so much about was sitting across the room. I had heard much about him as all of the girls were always talking about how dashingly handsome he was—and now, as I gazed cautiously at him, I saw that this was true.

Stefan Tabakov was ridiculously beautiful—the high planes of his face were sharp under fair skin stretched smoothly over the bones. He had a tall, muscular frame, and his hair was a pleasant shade of brown, almost a dark blonde. From where I sat I couldn't see his eyes, but a strong jaw and straight nose told me he was more than simply attractive. He was quiet, and seemed to hardly be listening to an animated Abbey Coel, a sixth year from Ravenclaw known for spreading rumors and gossip. Even in his state of boredom, he was dashingly handsome. He met my eyes and I tried to hold his gaze, but it did not falter. I looked away, blushing furiously. To the delight of Abbey, he was also Sorted into Ravenclaw.

Draco walked in just as I was staring at Stefan, and I scowled immediately when I spotted him. Luckily he didn't notice, as I lifted my copy of _The Standard Book of Spells Grade 7_ right as he looked at me, hiding my face from view. There was no way that I was going to be the first to give in and speak to him, especially when he had been the one sulking about his father and completely ignoring me. Hermione had been prodding me to talk to him, but I knew that he would send me another mixed signal, and I wasn't interested in that.

I set my book down when I was sure that Draco had taken his seat. Stefan was still staring at me, and I tried my hardest to ignore his piercing gaze, which I knew now was a pale, pale blue unlike anything I had ever seen before, almost as if they were made of ice. Captivating yet intimidating, harsh yet beautiful, eyes like the Arctic.

I knew that it was essential that I listened to Professor Jones as the exams were only a few months away, but the fact that Stefan was staring at me was a flattering one. I could hardly concentrate on the lesson, and Luna was saying something to me near the end of class that I didn't even process.

"Evanna? Are you all right?"

I snapped out of my reverie, looking away from Stefan, who was now poring over parchment, writing feverishly.

"What?" I turned to Luna, who had followed my gaze until her eyes reached Stefan.

"I was just mentioning that I'm going to be picking Valerian Sprigs for Potions," Luna said in her dreamy voice. "Would you like to join me? I've ran out and I don't have time to order more."

"I actually have a lot of homework to do tonight," I said apologetically, looking at Stefan through the corner of my eye, who was still writing. "Sorry, Luna. Maybe some other time."

I was content knowing that the best-looking seventh year had been persistently watching me. I knew that most would find this strange but as I had been staring back, I only found it pleasing. Thankful that for once I hadn't been paranoid about me and Draco being in the same room, I left Transfiguration class cheerfully. As I walked out of the door, Draco interrupted my cheerfulness with a sneer.

"Got an admirer, Spendlove?" he said with a hint of irritation, noting my flaming cheeks.

"I don't see why you care, Malfoy," I snapped, feeling anger pulse through me. "It isn't as if I fancy you anyway." Why did he care that Stefan had looked at me? It wasn't as if he cared about fixing anything between us anyway. Draco said nothing and stalked off, fuming.

The rest of my day I spent in a reverie, and for the first time I wasn't worried about Draco. It was nice to be able to forget the fact that we had ever been betrothed to one another at all, and the possibility that someone else might fancy me left me euphoric.

Nora had only written me once since I had left. She sounded awfully stressed in her letter, as if worried that I was still angry with her. She was undeniably correct, however, as I still felt betrayed that she had known all along and never told me. I read the letter over breakfast as I ate a bit of toast, ignoring insolent stares from Draco from across the Great Hall.

_ Eva,_

_I really need to talk to you. I know we left off on the wrong foot, but I really wanted to apologize about keeping quiet about Karkaroff. Mum made me swear not to tell anyone, and I was furious when I found out. But Dad's an Auror, Evanna, that's what he's supposed to do—catch Dark wizards. I think it's unfair that you're not speaking to me, but then again I can see why you're angry with me. Please write as soon as possible._

_ Love,_

_ Nora_

I crumpled the letter, not desiring to write back. Nora had always been the person that I trusted, the person I could count on. And now that had all been taken away from me, even the trust I had in my parents. I felt unbearably alone, more than I had in a very long time. It was the type of loneliness that is parasitic, and restlessness infested me at the idea that my life could very well be in danger.

I wanted to deny the fact that seeing anything in the future existed. I wanted to dismiss any thought in my mind that I was a Seer. But it didn't explain why I'd had a dream about Karkaroff involving vengeance when just seventeen years ago my father had killed his only son. It was too coincidental, and it made me realize that I couldn't ignore what was right in front of me.

I knew I had to tell someone. I needed to act. Draco and I were in danger. As much as we didn't talk or get along anymore, I knew that deep down Draco had become a decent person. I didn't want to risk my life or his for something we hadn't done, and I knew of only one person I could really talk to and take seriously. After my classes, I headed straight to the headmaster's office. I wasn't going to waste any time pondering on Karkaroff and whether he would come after me. Was there a way to alter the future? Would it be set in stone no matter what actions I took?

Professor McGonagall was at her desk, focusing on a roll of parchment on the desk before her. She hardly looked up when I entered her office. It was eerie that all the silver instruments Professor Dumbledore had had on his round tables were once again in their same places. It was almost as if he had never left, and he was just taking a trip to the lavatory.

I took a seat across from McGonagall, waiting for her to look up. I must have had a grave expression on my face, because her face changed from relaxed to stern, and waited for me to speak. I told her about my nightmare, every detail up until Draco's murder. I told her about Hermione searching for confidential information on Karkaroff through the Ministry's archives. McGonagall's brow furrowed when I told her of my father's role, but she did not seem entirely surprised. After I finished, she was silent for a few moments. She almost seemed bothered.

"Karkaroff has been rumored to be dead for a long time," she said finally, taking off her spectacles. "He was killed shortly after Voldemort's return three years ago."

"I know," I said hurriedly, fearing she doubted me, "but it's too much of a coincidence that I had a dream that fits perfectly with what my father did. I mean, I didn't have a clue that my father had done something like that."

"Yes, that is true," McGonagall said with conviction, but I could hear the criticism coming before she said it. "Nonetheless, the role of Lucius and Draco Malfoy does not make much sense in the situation. Lucius is on the run, and if you really have Seen, I do not see why he would bargain anything with Karkaroff. He is at large, but I don't see why he would want anything from Karkaroff."

I fell silent. She was right, of course. The fact that Lucius would even make a deal with Karkaroff after everything that had happened really disappointed me. I thought for moment that there had been hope for him, as there had been for Severus Snape. Snape had been proof that not all ex-Death Eaters stayed miserable creatures. I was hoping the same for Draco, and I pained for him as he was probably feeling wretched about his father.

"On the matter of your father," McGonagall began reluctantly, immediately capturing my attention, "I know that you must feel a great amount of confusion after finding out what you did. I understand that you weren't told his and your sister had known, yes?"

I nodded, starting to feel uncomfortable. I knew that perhaps McGonagall would try to comfort me, but I was so ashamed of what my father had done I couldn't bring myself to really take in her words.

"Ivan Karkaroff was said to be out of control," she said firmly, looking into my eyes. I looked away, not wanting her to see the guilt in mine. "Your father claims he had no other choice, and perhaps he is right. I know that you're angry for what he did, but his life and many others were at stake. He was doing what he thought was best at the time. I know your parents well, and I know they didn't hide it from you because they thought you could not handle it. They kept it from you because they feared this very reaction from you."

I bit my lip. I was still so indignant that Nora had known all along, and not me. Why had they kept it from me? That was the part that angered me most, but I didn't mention it to McGonagall. I just nodded, pretending as if I understood. It wasn't fair, none of it was fair.

"I am going to contact your parents as soon as possible," she continued in a brisk tone, making me stiffen. "They must contact the Ministry to assign you and your family protection—"

"I don't need protection," I interrupted quickly. "I really don't know what if I dreamt was even accurate—"

"I don't think we should take any chances. I can't enforce as the decision as you are now of age, but I highly suggest it." Her eyes showed no lie, and I eventually sighed in agreement.

"I'll send an owl immediately," McGonagall said with smartly, pulling another scroll of parchment out onto her desk without hesitation. I left her office with a greater fear than ever before, knowing that Karkaroff finding me was a definite possibility. If McGonagall was worried, I had every right to be.

* * *

I found Draco the next morning eating breakfast at the Slytherin table. He had an anxious look on his face, and the bruise-like shadows under his eyes indicated that he had not been sleeping very well. I couldn't recall whether they had been there when I had snapped at him the other day. As I sat beside him, he gave me an odd look as if surprised I was even coming into close contact with him. I had to say that I was surprised too, but I knew that my secret had gone far enough.

Without waiting for him to speak, I told Draco everything I had learned. I told him about the nightmare, including his father's role in the scheme. I left out the part about Karkaroff murdering him, as I was sure he'd think I was crazy. I told him about my father and Igor Karkaroff's son and how everyone had hidden it from me. I explained that Igor Karkaroff could still be alive, and that Professor McGonagall had contacted the Ministry to offer me and my family protection. Draco's face transitioned from grave to angry.

"My father would have nothing to do with this," he spat, infuriated. "I don't know why he'd want anything to do with Karkaroff. Karkaroff's supposed to be dead anyway."

"I just thought you should know," I said waspishly, standing up. "I thought that if your life was possibly endangered you would care more. I'm certain _I'd_ want to know if a Death Eater was going to kill me." I left Draco with his mouth hanging open without lingering around for a response.

* * *

The Ravenclaw tower had finally been restored. I had great affection for Ginny and Hermione, but it was nice to finally be able to sit in the common room without so many people crowding the room. I grew feverish waiting for word from my family. I had no idea whether my parents had accepted McGonagall's suggestion involving their protection.

I was sitting in an armchair in the common room, completely in distress. I didn't know how I could pass my exams with everything that I was feeling. I could hardly bear to sit around and do nothing while a Death Eater was (or maybe not) hunting me. Nobody was on my side. I was completely alone.

* * *

Hermione had done a good job at noticing my level of distress, even though she was constantly worrying about the exams and her difficult classes. She and I both agreed that we well deserved a break. After inviting Ginny and Luna, the four of us decided that we would take a trip to Hogsmeade. It was very cold and there was a bitter wind blowing, but it was worth the trip in more ways than one.

The Three Broomsticks was as crowded as ever, but no matter how crowded and uncomfortable, it welcomed in many memories of butterbeer and laughter. It was nice to be spending time with friends, even with the thoughts of Karkaroff and Draco lingering in my mind. My thoughts were interrupted as Ginny nudged my elbow, causing me to jump rather violently.

"What?" I asked with exasperation, rubbing my sore elbow.

"I think someone fancies you," she said in a low voice, looking over my shoulder.

I looked back to her quickly when I noticed Stefan looking over at me, who was sitting with a glass of firewhiskey in his hands and chatting with Maggie Tennant, the Muggle-born. He seemed to be genuinely interested in what she was chattering about, but definitely distracted.

"That's nothing," I mumbled, taking a sip of my butterbeer.

"Nothing," Ginny scoffed. "Okay. So what's going on between you two?"

"_Nothing_," I repeated, glaring at her. "Absolutely nothing, Ginny, drop it."

"He definitely seems attracted to you," Luna said, stirring her firewhiskey thoughtfully. "_He's_ charming, actually."

"You've talked to him?" Hermione sounded surprised.

"Yes, he's very pleasant," Luna said pensively, continuing to inspect Stefan. "He thought it was really neat that me and my farther are interested in Crumple Horned Snorkacks—"

"Yes, that's all very good," Ginny interrupted impatiently, clearly not caring about nonsense about Crumple Horned Snorkacks. "Has he said anything about all about Evanna?"

I sighed with frustration.

"He only asked me whether it was true she was dating Draco Malfoy," Luna said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

I almost choked on my butterbeer. The fact that my engagement to Draco Malfoy was so well-known around the school sickened me. Everyone probably thought that I had an interest in boys who had a Dark Mark, and the way that sounded was ludicrous.

"What did you tell him?" Hermione asked curiously, now watching Stefan too, who was currently giving his full attention to Maggie.

"I told him it's all very foggy, but that she wasn't in the slightest bit interest in him."

Hermione gaped at her, and I shook my head in despair. Ginny, however, seemed to think differently.

"Malfoy's a prat," she said with revulsion after taking a large gulp of her firewhiskey. "I don't see why you keep standing up for him—"

"I'm not, I just wanted to give him a chance," I cut across her, annoyed.

"He's a _git_—and Stefan is _way_ more attractive anyway—"

"True character isn't measured by looks," Hermione said with a scowl. "None of us really even know him. Besides, most good-looking guys are usually arrogant anyway—"

"Let's just stop fighting about this," I interrupted loudly, causing many people to turn and glance at me with wary expressions. I didn't have time to think about another potential relationship when I was perhaps being chased by a raging Death Eater.

Just as I was calming down after the heated debate, a note fell into my lap. I didn't turn around quickly enough to see what it was, but I realized that Stefan was gone, and Maggie had been left looking somewhat sulky as she watched me unfold the parchment.

_I have information you'd greatly value. Meet me tomorrow in the owlery, six o' clock. -Stefan_

My heart immediately began to pound. The words were written in careful, elegant handwriting. I felt Ginny and Hermione surveying me with concern, but I was too panicked to say anything to them. What did he know? Why would he be giving me information? Out of the corner of my eye I noticed for the first time that Draco was sitting merely three tables away, who pushed his chair back roughly and walked quickly past me without acknowledging, a grimace clearly displayed on his pale face.


	7. The Dark Mark

**Chapter Seven – The Dark Mark**

I was feeling very uneasy. The fact that Stefan, who I didn't know at all, might know something about my situation frightened me. Who had told him anything about my situation? What information did he have that I could possibly need? My courage was shrinking at the thought that maybe Stefan knew something because he was directly involved. I paced in the common room, a sudden defiance rising within me. _Don't be a coward._

I arrived in the owlery earlier than intended. I paced endlessly amidst soft, sleepy hoots of the owls soaring and resting above me, growing increasingly fretful with every passing minute. Stefan appeared rather suddenly, causing the owls to rustle and hoot sleepily. I stopped pacing, waiting for him to speak, my heart almost lodged in my throat. It seemed to take an eternity for him to finally say something, and with each second I felt progressively more impatient.

"I have information for you," he said, his voice sounded not really what I had expected. It was low, charming in every vowel, devoid of any accent which was not what I expected. I couldn't read his face. I didn't know whether he was friend or foe.

"What's this about?" I asked uneasily, probing for a possible giveaway on whose side he was on.

"Someone told me that you've been looking into Ivan Karkaroff's murder," he said slowly, piercing me with his emerald gaze, "and that Igor Karkaroff could be after you."

I didn't say anything, not wanting to neither confirm nor deny his inference, not knowing whether I could deem him trustworthy. He had attended Durmstrang, the school of which Karkaroff had been headmaster, after all. After waiting for me to reply and only being greeted with silence, Stefan continued.

"Igor Karkaroff is alive," he said softly, as if not wanting anyone else to hear.

"How do you know this?" I asked breathlessly, trying to figure out where he would have heard of such a thing. No one else had seemed interested into investigating into his supposed passing.

"It doesn't matter," he said briskly, expressionless. "What matters is he's dangerous, and he wants revenge."

"It has nothing to do with me." His shadiness was scaring me, and the fact that he didn't want to tell me how he knew didn't make me feel any better about the situation.

"But it has everything to do with you," he said quietly. Panic wracked my body, and any words I had been planning on saying quickly disappeared. "He wants you for vengeance, there doesn't need to be another reason."

My breath caught in my throat, panic engulfing me. Karkaroff was no longer a fictional person in my dreams but a living, breathing monster, hunting for his prey.

"You have to hide," he said pressingly, catching me from my reverie. "It's not safe here."

"Where could be safer than Hogwarts?" I asked incredulously as he gave an exasperated sigh.

"Anywhere is safer than here. Hogwarts is the one place where he will look other than your home. You are in danger."

I stayed silent, pondering this statement. I knew I was in danger, but where was the courage in hiding? I knew there was none, only the danger of my family being hurt because of my cowardice. I looked into his piercing gaze and I knew that there was no lie hidden in his eyes.

"And one more thing, Evanna. Beware of Draco Malfoy." His gaze was almost fierce.

At the mention of Draco's name, I gave him a piercing stare. Anger flared up within me that I couldn't explain. Why was I so angry all of the sudden and why did I suddenly feel the need to defend Draco Malfoy?

Before I could angrily retort, Stefan gave me a dark look, the tail of his cloak flashing past me as he exited.

* * *

The conversation with Stefan gave me a lot to ponder, resulting in distress. I didn't sleep well that night and tossed and turned, while nightmares of Karkaroff and Draco swarmed in my head, leaving me restless and paranoid.

I awoke early the next morning and stumped to breakfast, completely drained of energy. What was I to do? I couldn't run away and hide—it was cowardly. If I were to hide, my family would most likely be tortured for information. I couldn't let that happen, even if I was angry with them.

Not very many had woken as early as I had, leading to me sitting alone at the Ravenclaw table. The sky was a dull, cloudy day today, looking as bleak as I felt, My spirits now hung at an all time low, knowing that whatever step I took would lead to someone getting hurt. My daydreaming was cut short at the interruption of someone sitting beside me abruptly, causing me to nearly knock over my pumpkin juice.

"I came to ask you about—" Draco caught his breath, stopped short by whatever look was clearly displayed on my face, not sheltered behind any fake plastic expressions of bliss. "You look terrible," he said finally.

"Thanks for that," I snapped, snatching up my bag. "If all you've come to talk to me about is on the subject of my physical state, I'd like to leave now—"

"No, wait," he protested, grabbing my wrist and causing me to stiffen. I caught a look of worry clear in his eyes and a moment of weakness, completely unlike him.

"I came to ask you," he drifted slowly, releasing my wrist and looking away from my eyes timidly, "about what you said about Karkaroff the other day. You said that someone was going to kill me." His eyes swiveled to mine, beseechingly.

It was my turn to look away. I didn't know what he would think once I told him about the part where he died in my nightmare. Would he think I was insane?

I swallowed. He had the right to know.

"The other day when I told you about my nightmare, I might not have told you everything." I bit my lip and then quickly went on. "There was a part where you tried to save me, I think, and…Karkaroff killed you."

His gazed hardened. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Well…I felt bad. I didn't want you to worry."

He looked at me incredulously. "Do you think that you saw the future?" he asked skeptically, seeming to look at me as if I were crazy.

"No," I said quickly, then thinking on it. _Did _I think that I had seen the future? It just seemed so ridiculous. It had never happened before.

"Well," I sighed, looking away dejectedly, "Hermione suggested that I could be a Seer, and McGonagall said I should get protection from the Ministry—"

"You told McGonagall?" he scoffed. "Are you mad?"

"Why not?" I said irritably, hoping he couldn't see the hurt in my eyes. "I felt like she needed to know. _Someone_ had to. It's too much of a coincidence that my nightmare had your father working for Karkaroff while he's really at large—"

"Don't talk to me about my father," Draco said in a dark whisper. "I don't want to talk about him."

There was an awkward pause. Draco didn't want to accept what Lucius had done. I could see that now, but why would anyone want to anyway?

"Let him try to kill me," Draco said menacingly. "He'll get what's coming to him.

* * *

Valentine's Day was drawing near; you could almost smell it in the corridors. Owls were constantly swopping in and out of the castle, dropping girly-wrapped chocolates and unlabeled parcels. The knights in shining armor in the corridors were draped with necklaces of roses, which left off an overpowering fragrance, reminding me strongly of Professor Trelawney. More than once I caught couples snogging behind tapestries, which proved to be extremely awkward.

"Um, hi, Evanna—"

"Lovely to see you—"

"We'll just be going then—"

It seemed as if the entire school was buzzing with the excitement of the Hogsmeade trip coming up due to Valentine's Day, and almost every class a different girl walked in with her cheeks colored after being asked on a date. None of those girls were me. This didn't really bother me but let me a bit flustered that Draco had said nothing, and the fact that I was reacting this way made me want to kick myself. Why would Draco ask me on a date?

Quite on the contrary to everyone else, Draco seemed to grow increasingly sulky as the lovey-dovey holiday approached. Whenever I spotted him in the halls, he seemed to be in an even fouler mood than before. I didn't bother asking, suspecting that it had something to do with his father and the fact that I had been giving Stefan Tabakov increasingly more attention lately.

I found myself drawn to Stefan, and had figured that I had enough evidence to prove that he was on my side. It wouldn't have made sense for him to give me information on Karkaroff if he were against me. I hadn't sent him a card or received any advances from him, but the fact that we talked every Transfiguration class seemed to infuriate Draco and confused me.

The day before the trip to Hogsmeade, I sat at the Ravenclaw table during dinner, reading _Unfogging the Future_ and hardly touching the food on my plate. My reading was interrupted by Draco once again, and I turned to him in surprise. He hadn't spoken to me in about a week.

"Finally speaking to me again?" I asked airily, turning back to my book as if what he had to say didn't interest me.

"D'you want to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?"

I looked up at him in surprise, trying to determine whether he was serious. He gave me what I thought to be a determined glance.

"Sure," I said reluctantly, my voice sounding far away.

"Great, meet me at the front doors?"

I nodded, and with that, Draco stalked off without another word.

* * *

I woke up bright and early the next day and had a feeling of anxiety, almost wanting to scoff at myself. To be nervous about a date with Draco Malfoy seemed almost foolish. I didn't even know why I had said yes in the first place. Draco was waiting impatiently by the front doors, oddly stiff and tight-lipped. He was even paler than usual and I almost had to suppress a snigger at the fact that he seemed even more anxious than I was, and made me feel guilty immediately afterwards.

"Hello," he mumbled, looking around quickly as if worried to be seen with me.

"Hi," I said carefully, catching Ginny's eyes as she walked passed us, her eyes narrow.

"Guess we should be going then," he said after an awkward silence, his voice sounding strangely small. In this moment I was strongly reminded of Ron and how he handled situations like this.

The day was bright, strange on a cold day in February. This cheered my spirits a little as we passed through the cozy and welcoming little village of Hogsmeade.

"Want to go to the Three Broomsticks?" Draco asked so quickly I almost couldn't understand him; his nerves were getting the best of him. I nodded and we entered the crowded, famous pub, the bell tinkling quietly above us. I could see Ginny, Luna, and Hermione sitting in a corner, drinking down butterbeers. Ginny noticed Draco and I looking for a table and stuck her tongue out at me while Draco's back was turned.

"Do you want to sit here?" I suggested quickly, trying to divert him from the corner where Ginny was sitting.

Draco ordered a firewhiskey for himself and a butterbeer for me, leaving us to sit awkwardly in silence amidst the commotion of people chattering, laughing, and snogging. Draco placed his elbows on the table, a hand clenched under his chin, pretending to watch Luna as she pulled out her Spectrespecs and a new issue of the Quibbler. As he gazed absentmindedly, I scanned down his figure and was immediately drawn by a tiny area of black on his wrist that peeked over his sleeve. Knowing that I shouldn't but ignoring the warning, I touched it, gently circling his wrist.

"What are you doing?" he whispered sharply so as not to attract attention to his Dark Mark.

"I just want to see it," I said calmly, pulling back his sleeve.

He jerked his arm away, a frightened look in his eyes.

"Are you mad? Did you forget where we are?"

I gave him a quizzical look. He sighed impatiently.

"I don't need to give everyone a reminder of who I am—_was,_" he said with a severe look in his eyes, pulling down his sleeve to hide the Mark. "No one needs to be reminded of Death Eaters."

As he said this I felt a surge of pity and knew that Draco would forever be affected by what had happened. He would never forget what he and his parents had been through, and neither would anyone else.

The rest of the day spent in Hogsmeade was slightly uncomfortable but faintly lightened after visiting Zonko's Joke Shop and Honeydukes, where Draco actually bought me a fresh batch of Cauldron Cakes ("For Valentine's Day, you know," Draco spluttered), which we shared on the way back to Hogwarts.

As Draco and I stood at the front doors of the castle after everyone else had entered, Draco seemed as if he were desperate to tell me something. He opened his mouth and then seemed to think better of it, and walked off after thanking me for what he called a "lovely day".

As I laid in the Ravenclaw dormitory that night and pretended to listen to Luna's ravings about Horklumps, I thought on the way that Draco had looked at me in the Three Broomsticks; how he had appeared wounded and hopeless. It had almost seemed that he felt ugly to look at because of the cursed Mark distinct on his wrist; it was there everlastingly, whether he had gone through a change of heart or not. He would ceaselessly be reminded of dark times serving under Voldemort, and as long as I was tied to him, I would be too.


	8. More Newspaper Clippings

**Chapter 8 – More Newspaper Clippings**

"You did _what_?"

"Shhh, Ginny—"

"Why would you want to see that—"

"I know—"

"You tried to see his _Dark Mark_—you went on a _date _with Draco Malfoy—"

"Oh give it a rest," Hermione snapped in her armchair near the common room fire, a book on Ancient Runes and parchment laid in her arms.

"Do you not think that's ridiculous?" Ginny asked incredulously, rounding on her. "She goes on a date with him and then tries to see his Dark Mark in a public place. It's mad."

"I would be quite curious myself," Luna said dreamily, causing Ginny to narrow her eyes at her.

"Well Draco definitely is unpleasant, but if Evanna wants to date Draco Malfoy, it's her choice," Hermione said simply, scratching out something on her parchment.

"But she has a choice now," Ginny argued while I clenched my teeth. "His dear mummy said that there was a chance they weren't even getting married. And she's _dating_ him, Hermione." Ginny often spoke as if I weren't there, yet this didn't really make me angry with her. It was simply her mannerism.

"Wait, wait," I interrupted, feeling my face flush, "I'm not _dating_ him. I went on a date with him." Ginny snorted.

"Drop it," Hermione said flatly.

"Do you like Draco?" Luna asked vaguely, turning her daydreaming eyes on me and making me feel uncomfortable. I felt the flush creep further up my face.

"Um," I stammered, fiddling with the sleeves of my robes, "no. I don't like him that way."

"Yeah right," Ginny snorted, actually allowing me a dubious smile.

"I really don't," I said with more confidence in my voice. "I really don't know whether he's changed and I don't _have_ to like him."

"Are you being honest?" Luna asked bluntly in her faraway voice, forcing Ginny to hide a snigger behind her hand.

"Yes," I said sharply, now blushing furiously. "He's vile and prejudiced—nothing that I would ever look for in someone." I noticed that Hermione winced at this last statement, making me feel a rush of guilt.

"Ouch." Ginny grinned, obviously pleased, as if I were seeing things her way now. Luna frowned.

I questioned myself that night. How did I feel about Draco Malfoy?

* * *

I didn't see Draco in Transfiguration class for a few days. This struck me as odd; even when he was angry with me he would show up despite his sulking. I didn't understand why he wouldn't cone to Transfiguration. The thought slightly hurt me. Stefan was in class looking serenely handsome as always, but the weight on my mind regarding Draco not showing up to class because of me distracted me; I could feel his eyes lingering on me.

I found the girl that Draco talked to occasionally at the Slytherin table at dinner, whose name was Maryanne. Many of them gave me skeptical looks as I sat down beside her. I figured that due to her obsession, she'd know why and where Draco was hiding. Maryanne gave me a dirty look.

"Yes?" she asked, an eyebrow raised.

"I know that you somewhat know Draco," I said quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear. "I haven't seen him for a few days. Do you know where he's been and why he's been gone?"

"Why do you care?" she asked haughtily, twisting a lock of raven-dark hair around her finger.

I gritted my teeth. "Just tell me. Please."

Maryanne gave a sigh after a few moments, finally swallowing her pride. "He's been in the Slytherin common room. He said something about when you went on your little—_date —_" she absolutely spat the word—"and his Dark Mark." At the mention of the Dark Mark, she dropped her voice.

"What's he been saying?" I asked curiously, urging her on.

She shook her head. "I don't see why it matters. You hate him anyway."

I blushed. "No I don't."

"Yes you do. All you and your little goody-goody friends do is talk about Draco behind his back," Maryanne said menacingly. "Don't you understand how hard he has it? Everyone in the castle looks at him as if he's something a dragon's spat up; like he doesn't have feelings. He considers you one of his only friends. So for _once,_ Evanna, I would suggest that you get off your high horse and actually think of someone other than yourself." She stood up angrily and stalked off, leaving me feeling much worse than I had than when I'd found her.

* * *

I found Draco in Hogwarts' grounds by the lake, where he had his nose buried in a book that read _Advanced Defensive Magical Theory_. It was definitely odd to see him so submerged into a book. He looked paler than usual; shadows skulked beneath his eyes. I sat beside him and waited until he looked over his book at me.

"I just wanted to apologize," I said quietly, so that nearby a group of Ravenclaw girls couldn't hear, "for trying to see your—"

"Don't say it," he said through gritted teeth, hiding his face behind the book again. "And it's fine. I don't want to talk about it."

I hesitated before my next question, but I needed to know.

"Do you dislike yourself, Draco?"

He slowly lowered his book, looking at me almost curiously.

"Dislike myself?" he repeated slowly. He snapped his book shut. "I _hate _myself."

I didn't say anything. What was I supposed to say?  
"I feel like a monster," he said shrewdly. "I _am_ a monster. Do you know what it's like living every day and having everyone hate you? No one trusts me. I don't have any friends. I'll have _this_ forever." He buried his fingernails deep into his wrist, as if wishing he could scratch it off completely. "I'll be alone forever." He lowered his eyes, staring at his outstretched hands almost like he imagined they were drenched in blood.

"That's not true," I whispered. "You're not hated—"

"Come off it," he cut across me. "Everyone hates me. I'm not liked by anyone. Your own friends loathe me. Granger, Weasley—"

"They don't hate you," I interrupted, watching his pained expression. "Hermione really seems to have hope for you, and Ginny, well—she's just not as ready to forgive you as I am."

Draco peered up at me, looking surprised. "You hate me, too."

"No I don't," I retorted angrily. "Not everyone hates you, Draco, I'm telling you—"

"I know you don't want to marry me," he said softly, his gaze making me think he wanted to know how I felt. "I know that you don't want to marry someone who used to be a Death Eater. Don't lie to me, Evanna."

I bit my lip. "Yeah, I wasn't really excited about having to marry you, but really, after everything, you're not as bad as you think you are."

"I almost killed Dumbledore," he scowled. "I almost killed him because I was—I _am_—a coward."

"But you didn't—"

"It doesn't make a difference, does it? Dumbledore's dead because of me. I fixed the Vanishing cabinet. Nothing would have happened to him if it weren't for me. So many people could have been saved." He hung his head.

I wrapped my hand around his, which was clenched in a fist.

"But you _didn't_ kill him," I repeated, desperately wanting him to look up at me. "Snape killed Dumbledore. It was all part of Dumbledore's plan. And look what fighting V-Voldemort—" I swallowed. Even now, it seemed to soon to say his name. I started again. "If that wouldn't have happened, he wouldn't have been defeated. Death Eaters would still be out there, and you would still be threatened your life—"

"I don't care," Draco said abruptly. "I'm a coward. I should have died."

"Don't say that."

"_Why_ are you defending me?" Draco asked loudly, almost angrily.

"Because you can't be as bad as you say you are," I said just as loudly. "You _saved_ me in my dream, Draco. You died to save me. Maybe it's the future. It's too much of a coincidence not to be true."

"Dreams don't mean anything," he muttered. "I would know."

* * *

The Easter holidays were fast approaching, which meant it was about time to start vigorously studying for N.E.W.T.s. Transfiguration had become so difficult that students frequently missed while others came down ill and had to be sent to Madam Pomfrey. No other student took the nearing exams harder than Hermione did. As usual, she spent every second of free time she had in the library or surrounded by large volumes of history and spellbooks in the common room. She appeared almost feverish every time I saw her.

The Quidditch pitch had finally been restored. The goal posts stood tall once again, looking as though they had never even come close to Death Eaters. Unfortunately as there hadn't been a single Quidditch match played all year, there was no hope of hosting the tournament for the Quidditch Cup. Despite this, Professor McGonagall found it appropriate to host quick matches between houses, announcing that training practice could be held two weeks before the matches, allowing Quidditch captains to allow anyone that seemed fit to be on the temporary team. Though it didn't seem that the matches would be nearly as competitive, everyone was humming with anticipation to finally see a Hogwarts Quidditch match for the first time since my sixth year at Hogwarts.

The enthusiasm could be felt radiating from the humongous throng of people leaving the Great Hall after breakfast to watch the first match; Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. Hermione, Ginny, Luna and I trumped past the entrance hall and stalked off toward the library, heads hung low with the thought of having to study during one of the only Quidditch matches of the year. However, no one was more upset about this than Ginny.

"I could've _flown_," she said angrily as she heaved _The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 7_ onto a table irritably; Madam Pince gave her a reproachful look as she passed laden with a number of books that looked like they belonged in the Restricted Section.

"I could've played Chaser or Seeker, who knows who they'll pick now—"

Hermione shushed her, causing Ginny to look highly affronted, but another look from Madam Pince kept her quiet.

"So Ron is starting his official career as an Auror after the holidays," Hermione said in a slightly shaky voice, her eyes fixed on _Transfiguration: Perfected through Technique _with a worried look on her face.

"And?" Ginny pressed her, slightly irritated at Hermione's interruption.

Hermione burst into tears, shocking the rest of us.

"Ron, an Auror? I don't want him to get hurt—"

"What makes you think Ron can't do it?" Ginny asked somewhat suspiciously.

I gave her a disapproving look. "She's just worried about him, Ginny, relax."

"He'll be all right, you'll see," Luna said as she sucked on the end of her quill, watching Hermione with a distant gaze. "Neville decided to become an Auror too, ever since Kingsley Shacklebolt said anyone who fought in the war could join without their N.E.W.T.s—"

"Neville?" Hermione squeaked with surprise through her tears.

"Harry won't let anything happen to Ron," I said confidently, opening _A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration. _

"You're right," Hermione said abruptly after a brief silence, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "I'm being silly."

The sound of quills scratching against parchment wasn't interrupted for a few minutes, as it was so quiet that the cheers from the Quidditch pitch could be heard from within the silent library. Ginny kept looking over her shoulder, as if hoping the Quidditch pitch would magically appear just outside of the window. Luna pulled out her Spectrespecs and chewed on her hair while she read a new edition of the _Quibbler_, once again upside down. Hermione was writing blindingly fast across her parchment.

The ominous quiet was finally broken as Stefan walked into the library as he read the _Daily Prophet_. Ginny looked at me from her book, smirking knowingly. I blushed and hid my face as I pretended to be scrutinizing my essay closely. Despite my efforts to hide myself so as not to be noticed, Stefan dropped the _Daily Prophet _onto the table in front of me, making everyone but Luna jump violently. Hermione's quill snapped.

I looked up at Stefan, who wore a stony look on his face. He nodded to the copy of the _Daily Prophet_, putting a finger to his lips and gesturing to Madam Pince, who was looking at our table curiously from where she was returning books to their proper place. I bent over the newspaper and read:

**EX-DEATH EATER AND HEADMASTER SPOTTED WITH LUCIUS MALFOY**

Igor Karkaroff, ex-Death Eater and ex-headmaster, has been recently spotted in the Muggle

village of Cokeworth. Karkaroff was originally presumed to have been detained and killed

by Death Eaters shortly previous to the Battle of Hogwarts. Lucius Malfoy, who is still at large

for the murder of a group of Muggles, was seen with Karkaroff this morning.

Shortly after being seen the pair Disapparated. Anyone who has information on their

whereabouts should contact the Head of Magical Law Enforcement immediately.

I felt like I'd been submerged in a bucket of ice water.


End file.
